I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
