Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
