I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
