Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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