If i come over, it means nothing
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
