I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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