yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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