Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
