I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
