Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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