The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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