There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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