Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
