ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
