i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
