You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
