i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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