does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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