By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just shotgunned beers for America
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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