Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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