You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.