I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize