ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
