Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
