At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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