so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize