what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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