I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
