I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
