i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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