Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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