You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do herpes really smell.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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