I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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