she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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