were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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