When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
