We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
