Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
