I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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