It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
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He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
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Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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