I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
