he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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