we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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