I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
