i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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