He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
