Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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