I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize