ugly people sure do ruin things
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize