I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize