i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
try to milk me bitch
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