And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
