I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
