Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
