i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
