a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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