Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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