You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
